Marriage Equality for all!

So it all comes down to this.

This week, the Supreme Court will hear arguments concerning Prop 8 and DOMA. I never thought these days would come - but here they are - and now the shit is going to hit the fan.

I have so many emotions running through my body. I am excited for the chance they could rule in our favor. I have some despair in case hatred rules their hearts and they rule against us. There are so many other emotions, but those are the two who are fighting in my heart today.

For the life of me I just don't understand why anyone would care who I marry. I try to put myself in the shoes of a anti-gay marriage person, but I just can't get there. I don't understand why my marriage would ever affect their lives in any way - because it won't. Just in the same fashion that what they do in their lives and who they marry/divorce makes absolutely no difference in my life.

So what I always seem to land on is hatred. Pure hatred for what they don't understand. Since they can't comprehend my lifestyle they hate me for it.

Another thing I don't understand is why they don't want me to get married, but yet, they as a whole can't seem to keep their marriages intact. Well, at least 50% don't seem to keep them intact. My mother didn't keep hers intact; neither did my sister. Both bailed on their marriage when shit got too serious. My brother is married as far as I know, but I have no idea since I don't allow him into my life.

I used to belong to this group of girls - the groups is called the O'Boisies since it was a girls group and boys were not allowed. I was allowed since I am gay and my mother started the group. There was another man let in since he was close friends with all of the other women.

There was a core group of eight. Three of them were divorced by the time I left the group. One was in a sexless marriage and were married for whatever reason suited them. One was in a marriage I respected, but even they had some severe issues, but they didn't give up on their marriage. And now I hear another one is on the way to splitsville. One did recently get re-married and I wish them all the best.

My point is, I have been surrounded by divorce and THAT is what has shaped my view of marriage - for straight people. Not a very high one.

In full disclosure, I was in one long term relationship, but I ended that since he was a lying, cheating bastard. I don't count that as a divorce since we were never legally married.

I am now in my 9th year with HB. We are still in love and spend every moment together. I would marry him if it were legal and he asked. I plan on spending the rest of my life with him court ruling or no court ruling.

But....

here is the fact. If anything were to ever happen to HB, I would be homeless. His family would take the house, the cars, and everything with his name on it. And I would be on the street with the two dogs and our big screen TV.

Yes, he has ensured that I am taken care of financially, but why should I have to endure humiliation and homelessness due to their hatred for what they don't understand?  They have the Bible on their side - never a friend to the GLBT community. They have that obscure verse from Leviticus and all I have is my love for HB. I wonder who would win. Not to be overly morbid, but why should I have to be worried for a roof over my head when I should be grieving the lost of my one great love?

I have seen more than my fair share of friends being kicked out of their house after their lovers die. It just sucks all the way around.

And don't even get me started on how people go to Vegas and go through the drive through of certain chapels to get married. Insulting and disgusting. Nothing sacred about that bullshit.

Overall, I never thought I would even see these issues being discussed let alone on trial at the highest court in our land. And the President of the United States is endorsing marriage equality! And my state senator - Clarie McCaskill! It just keep getting better and better.

I guess it really does get better.

So as I close this rambling, I am full of hope and love today. Check back with my in about three months when the SCOUTS rules on this. If they rule against us I will be FULL of piss an vinegar and threatening to blow shit up.

But today....today I am full of love and hope. And I hope you are as well.

MUCH love,

Jim